Drive a Tesla? It might say more about you than you realize. Here are ten things driving a Tesla says about you.
1. You’re proficient in “car math.”
Every Tesla owner loves Tesla math. You’ve either crunched the numbers or paid attention to someone else who did. While most Tesla models still cost considerably more than their gas-powered equivalents — insurance isn’t cheap either — you’ve weighed those upfront costs against your long-term operational and maintenance savings. Tesla math doesn’t point you to the most affordable ride in town, but it does relieve some of the sticker shock and promise you future payoffs should you splurge on the coolest car instead.
2. You’re a bit of an eco-warrior.
Not unlike the celebrity environmentalists who came before you — we’re looking at you, DiCaprio, Schwarzenegger and Gore — you’re out to save the planet, or at least not contribute too significantly to its demise. An electric vehicle still makes a statement. You’ll pay a little more — and even put up with a few new obstacles — to invest in innovative technology that’s trying to do good.
3. Looks are important.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the Tesla is undeniably a good-looking vehicle. (Jury’s still out on the upcoming no-curves-allowed Cybertruck.) You’re very aware that heads are gonna turn when you drive by — and you might have purchased it, in part, for that very reason.
4. You’re a risk-taker.
All signs point to electric vehicles being the cars of the future, but they’re not quite the cars of today. You’re choosing to bet on the evolution of the road, trusting that those hard-to-find Tesla service stations will eventually multiply in number, that Tesla’s self-driving technology will one day be fully realized, and that your boss will eventually install charging stations at work.
5. You travel light.
For you, road trips don’t involve trailer hitches — pull too much weight and your range is going to suffer — but a weekend getaway to the beach can involve “Camp Mode,” which converts your parked car into a temperature- and airflow-controlled cabin complete with lighting, music streaming and gadget-charging. Car camping is car glamping when you’re the one in the driver’s seat, even if it does require a minimalist’s packing job.
6. You’re patient.
You knew and accepted the tradeoffs: a recharge is cheaper than gas, but it takes longer than a quick stop at the pump. And with limited service centers across the country, repairs and maintenance take a bigger bite out of your schedule, too. As someone who likely started their Tesla purchasing experience with a waiting list, you’re used to delayed gratification. (Besides, you can play arcade games or stream movies in your car while you wait for it to charge. Waiting is hardly a chore.)
7. You have your own parking spot.
Driving a Tesla around town is a double brag: you have a coveted ride and (probably) somewhere to charge it. No overnight street parking for you.
8. You’re ready for anything, and everyone knows it.
Are you even a real Tesla driver if you’re not quick to show off every handy mode and quirky Easter egg your vehicle features? Need to run a quick errand and leave your pup in the car? Engage Dog Mode to keep Fido cool and safe. Driving through an area ravaged by wildfires? Models S and X have Bioweapon Defense Mode to ensure you’re breathing safe air. On a date? It’s time for Romance Mode, complete with crackling fireplace. And if your buddy is annoying you in the back, feel free to engage Emissions Testing Mode and make a fart noise come from his seat.
(Tip: Don’t use Emissions Testing Mode on a first date.)
9. You’re a good driver. But so is your car.
Brag all you want about your driving skills, we all know your Tesla is a better driver than you. Tesla is famously ranked among the safest cars in the world. From the fortified body structure to the always-updating powerful technology — in England, Tesla’s automatic braking feature reportedly saved two families’ lives when a tree fell onto the road — this car is built to both withstand crashes and avoid them in the first place. Fart mode is fun, but safety still comes first.
10. Your phone is always charged. Or at least it should be.
This car was designed to keep your gadgets charged and ready to go, and encourages James Bond-level gadget-hoarding. You’re the friend who doesn’t have the “My phone died” excuse. Unless your car also died. (In which case, you need to learn how to use your car. It will literally tell you where to go to charge.)
Read our blogs for information on the best airport parking and hourly parking spots near you and the most affordable insurance for your car.
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